All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
— Anatole France

Jason and I are the masters of change. In our 20+ years of marriage we have lived in 10 different places.  Wilderness being the longest of 10 years.  There are so many words to describe Wilderness.  Beautiful, peaceful, magical, start to describe it.  There, we grew the most.  Nothing will ever compare to the Wilderness but the Wilderness was never ours and we were made very aware of that fact, so change we must.  

Fear of change is not something we do.  We force it.  

We have had many occupations.  I went from waitress to massage therapist to gym owner and coach.  Jason, from roofer to Air Force police to gas fitter, painter, caretaker, to now oiler.  I want to help people change.  Jason wants to fix things.  Neither one of us likes to settle.  

So while we are a bit overwhelmed with trying to figure out our new life and where we now fit in the world.  We are getting through it,  together but further apart physically than we have ever been.  I think this change will take the most adjusting to and it's strange, a foreign feeling.  Being alone.  Complete opposite of what we have lived the past 10 years.  

This year has gone from an idea to a reality and it seems that once we put it in motion it went full steam ahead and now here we are watching the dust settle and seeing what we have created.  It is exciting and new and I am still mourning my old life so there is sadness too.  I guess I am old enough now that when I look backwards I see the trail we have followed and where it is taking us.  

To our dreams.  Finding beautiful.

Artist, dreamer, lover of life. Former gym owner redefining me.